4 Things I Used to Care About But Don’t Anymore
Self reflection is an important part of growth and creating a life you love. Self reflection happens when you spend some time really thinking about who you are, your thoughts, and your experiences. One of the best ways to use self reflection for growth is to think about how you have changed over time. What have you done in the past 1, 3, or 20 years that made you proud? What has happened that has shifted your journey? Think of the differences between the version of yourself then, and the version of yourself now.
The reason this kind of self reflection is valuable is that it helps us see our growth. And when we notice our growth, we realize our potential for further growth. (This is a great motivator when you feel like your dreams and goals are just too big). And in the process of seeing how you have changed over the years and all of your amazing growth and accomplishments, you will also notice something else. You will realize that there are certain things you just DO NOT CARE ABOUT nearly as much as you did in the past.
Using self reflection to realize the things you no longer care about is not a bad thing! It is actually really freaking awesome. As Mark Manson points out in his bestselling book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fu**, we only have so much we can care about. So we need to start weeding out the things that do not deserve our attention and care. To get you started, here are four things that I used to care about, but don’t anymore.
Seeing Other People Do Fun Things on Social
Comparison is the worst. Not feeling confident in your life is also the worst. Seeing other people, specifically friends, posting all about their vacations and parties used to make me feel so down and like I was missing something integral to my life. This kind of thinking is SO NOT THE VIBE we are looking for. I want to feel happy for those around me and STILL happy for myself and MY life.
Want to know how I have done that? Well. I first unfollowed people who didn’t add to my life and started following people who lift me up and get me motivated. And next, I built up a life that I am proud of. I grew a confidence in myself. It takes a long time but when you have self confidence and you feel good (not perfect, but good) about your life, you can cheer on others and still love your own life. And of course there will be times that comparison creeps in, but it won’t feel nearly the same.
When Someone Disagrees with me in a Conversation
Honest moment here: I really, REALLY believed for a long time that when someone disagreed with me in a conversation I had two options: Agree with them or face the fact that there would be awkwardness or drama. UM. Sorry. What??
A lot has shifted over the past few years and I am now incredibly confident that disagreement is NOT a source of awkwardness or drama. Disagreement or difference of opinion is actually an incredible source of learning and discussion. Curious what changed my mindset? Confidence in myself – which can only come with time and building trust in yourself. When I gained confidence, I wasn’t afraid to apologize, ask follow-up questions, listen, agree to disagree, or explain my perspective in a clear, non-judgmental way. And by doing this I have learned SO much about alternative perspectives.
Following a Specific Timeline
Hi. Extremely organized planner and goal-setter reporting for duty! Despite the fact that I absolutely love having a plan (like aggressively love it) I have really stopped caring about meeting a specific timeline for my life IN COMPARISON to others. When a friend of mine gets engaged, I am stoked! It is exciting that she is at that point in her life and relationship and I am genuinely excited! Compare that to past me who used to think things like “should I be getting engaged?” or “should I start a business?” or “I should be doing a gap year?” All of which were anxieties based on thinking my life needed to match up to someone else’s journey.
On the same note as living by a specific timeline, living by a specific, permanent lifestyle is also something that my self reflection has made me stop caring about! Life is too complicated, rich, and varied to expect to live by one set of rules for your entire life. I was (and sometimes still am) scared of change. But when I really look at the things I love about my life or myself, I realize that those things were born from seasons of growth and change. Not from staying the same.
Change is necessary. Routines change, diets change, your free time changes, and honestly, expecting that one lifestyle/way of life is going to get you through all of the ups and downs of life is CRAZZYY. I mean, literally take the COVID-19 pandemic as an example. Instead of holding tight to one lifestyle, we have to grow and pivot and innovate to become our best self in every new season of life.
Now that you have a starting point, take them and do your own self reflection on the ways you have grown and changed and the things you no longer care about the way you once did. If you loved this article and want more tips on living a healthy, wealthy, mindful life, you can get weekly ideas sent to your inbox every Tuesday by subscribing to my newsletter.